Hello everyone!
Turning 40 this month feels like a milestone, not just in years but in how I’m choosing to present myself to the world. For years, I’ve been colouring my hair, chasing shades of brown and even the occasional bold red. But as my 40th birthday approaches, I’ve made a decision that feels both liberating and slightly daunting: I’m embracing my grey hair. This Free Spirit Friday, I’m thrilled to share my story of transitioning from coloured hair to my natural grey, along with tips, reflections, and a few realities I’ve faced along the way.
I started dyeing my hair long before those first grey hairs appeared. As a teenager, I was already experimenting with box dyes, drawn to the thrill of transformation. By my early 20s, when those silver strands began to peek through at 21, dyeing became less about fun and more about covering up. I’d always been diligent about it, whether at a salon for a professional touch-up or in my bathroom with a box dye. Over the years, I’ve probably tried every brand on the supermarket shelf, each promising vibrant colour and full coverage. My last dye session was on 23rd December 2024, a rich chestnut brown that I loved but knew would be my final one for a while.
Why now? you might ask. Turning 40 has a way of making you reassess things. I’ve spent nearly two decades hiding my grey, and I’m tired of the upkeep—the constant root touch-ups, the staining of my bathroom sink, the faint chemical smell that lingers for days. More than that, I’m curious about who I am without the dye. Grey hair has become a symbol of confidence and authenticity in recent years, with more women rocking their silver locks with elegance. I want to be part of that movement, to embrace what my body is naturally doing rather than fighting it.
The transition, however, isn’t as simple as putting down the dye box and calling it a day. If you’ve ever dyed your hair for years, you’ll know that going grey is a process, both physically and emotionally. My hair is currently a mix of that chestnut brown from December, my natural dark brown, and the grey that’s starting to dominate at the roots. The contrast is noticeable, and I won’t lie—there are days when I stare in the mirror and wonder if I’ve made the right choice. But I’m committed, and I’ve learnt a few things along the way that might help anyone else considering this journey.
First, let’s talk about the practical side. One option for transitioning is to go cold turkey, letting your grey grow out naturally while the dyed ends gradually get trimmed off. This is the route I’m taking, mainly because it’s low-maintenance and cost-effective. The downside? The “skunk stripe” effect, where the grey roots contrast sharply with the dyed lengths. To soften this, I’ve been playing with my wavy/curly hair’s natural texture, trying loose braids, and wearing headbands on days when the roots feel too stark. Another trick is using purple shampoo to keep the grey vibrant and counteract any yellowing, which can happen with natural grey hair.
If you’re not keen on the grow-out phase, you could opt for a salon transition. Some people choose to dye their hair a shade closer to their natural grey or go for a full silver dye to blend the transition. I considered this but decided against it, as I want to avoid chemicals altogether. A third option is a dramatic chop—cutting off the dyed hair to start fresh with your grey. This works if you’re ready for a short style. I had a pixie cut when I was 12, and while I loved how bold and carefree it felt back then, my shoulder-length hair is a big part of my identity now, so I’m not ready to go that short again just yet!
Beyond the logistics, the emotional side of going grey has been an unexpected rollercoaster. In my 20s and 30s, I associated grey hair with ageing, and not in a positive way. Society often tells us that youth equals beauty, and grey hair can feel like a betrayal of that ideal. But as I’ve researched and connected with other women embracing their grey (Instagram is a treasure trove of #GreyHairDontCare and #SilverSisters inspiration), I’ve realised that grey hair isn’t about giving up—it’s about redefining beauty on your terms. My grey strands shimmer in the light, catching my eye in a way that feels almost magical. They’re a testament to my life’s experiences, from late-night study sessions in my late teens and early 20s to building Cosette’s Beauty Pantry in my 30s.
That said, the transition has its challenges. I’ve had moments of doubt, especially when friends or family comment on my roots. “Are you sure you want to let it go grey?” is a question I’ve heard more than once. These remarks, though well-meaning, can sting, especially when you’re already grappling with your reflection. My advice? Surround yourself with supportive people and seek out communities—online or in real life—where grey hair is celebrated. It’s also worth preparing for unsolicited opinions. I’ve started responding with a smile and, “I’m loving the journey!” which usually shifts the conversation.
Another aspect to consider is hair care. Grey hair has a different texture—mine feels coarser and slightly wirier, which is more pronounced with my wavy/curly hair. As I write this, I’m about four months into my grey journey, and I’m starting to see more silver at my roots. It’s exciting, but I know I have a way to go before my hair is fully grey. I anticipate that if I keep my current length and style with regular trims, it will take about 18 months in total. Patience is key, as is self-compassion. There are days when I miss the instant confidence boost of a fresh dye job, but there’s something empowering about embracing my natural self. I’m learning to love the woman in the mirror, grey hair and all.
For anyone thinking about going grey, my advice is to do it for you. Not because it’s trendy or because someone else thinks you should, but because it feels right. Take your time, explore your options, and don’t be afraid to change your mind. This journey is as much about self-discovery as it is about hair.
I’d love to hear from you, my lovely readers. Have you embraced your grey hair, or are you considering it? What’s been your experience, and what tips or products have helped you along the way? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
With love,
